Crushing Self-Doubt

I’m about to get really, really real up in here, so if you can’t handle feelings, you might want to exit stage right.

Being a writer is almost more than I can handle. Don’t get me wrong, it’s incredible to be the creator of worlds. I love my characters almost as much as I love my own flesh and blood relatives. Sometimes I wish I could enter their world and live with them, even if it’s just for one day. But that love for my creations comes with a lot of pain when people scorn my work, say it’s not work, or simply don’t care at all.

I understand that not everybody is going to “get” authors, and people always judge what they don’t understand. It just seems to me that people could be a little gentler when you share a piece of your soul with them. The viciousness with which some people tear into books they don’t like has my nails in a horrible state lately. I’m just waiting on that first one-star review with scathing criticism… Even though I honestly believe the work is five-star worthy, and that has been confirmed a couple of times, I just know that one angry person is coming, and it gnaws at me day and night.

I guess I can be thankful in a way that if that does happen, it will mean I haven’t sunken into the depths of utter obscurity… Competing with millions of other books and writers makes you feel about as small as an atom sometimes. I never dreamed as a fourteen-year-old, bright-eyed, naive new writer that it would be such a struggle just to find 100 people that are interested in actually reading your book from start to finish. Writing a book does not equal #1 NY Times Best Seller. Usually it equals tedious hours of editing, even more hard work marketing, and an ass-ton of self-doubt. Clawing your way through all of that feels a bit like digging your way out of a coffin in the ground.

I haven’t given up hope yet, and I never will. I’m just saying it’s hard, folks. Really, really hard. If you’re new to writing and you think writing isn’t hard, you’re probably not a real author yet. Just wait, because writing the book is actually the easy part.

Thanks for reading this depressing post. Here’s hoping the next one is a little more celebratory.


P.S.-My free promo is going well so far, but I still need a lot more people to pick up this book and review it. Find your free copy here!


Okay, NOW It’s Free

Sorry about that misleading post title yesterday. Diary of a Rocker’s Kid is now free through the next five days. Pick up a copy on me:

The Kindle app is available on just about any smart device, so don’t think you can’t get your free copy just because you don’t have a Kindle. Also, if you love the book or even like it a little, please post a review and share with your friends. Word of mouth is the best way to spread the word about a book, and I’d really like to spread the word about this one.

Thanks all!


New Version Announcement

It was brought to my attention that the first version of Diary of a Rocker’s Kid was too mature for teens, and I made the mistake of marketing it as a YA fiction book without realizing that. First off, I would like to apologize to any parents who let their child read it without knowing about the mature content. Believe me, it wasn’t my intention to hurt anyone, I’m just new to this authorship thing and didn’t realize what I was doing (I’ve been watching teen shows on TV to get a feel for today’s teenagers, and I guess you’re allowed to be more raunchy on TV than you are in books).

Secondly, I’m happy to announce that I will be releasing a second, more appropriate edition in August. Same story, just a little tamer and with some additional scenes that I think will really help to flesh it out. This edition will be free for the first five days, so that people who downloaded the first book won’t have to pay for the second one. I’m excited about this second version, and I think it actually improves on the original, which got five-star reviews in spite of the mature content. I can’t wait to share this with you!

If you’re a mature young (or not so young) adult and you’d like to read the original, it’s here for $2.99: D.O.R.K. on Kindle

Keep an eye out for version #2!

Thanks all!


5 Truths about Self-Pub

It’s been a week since I self-published my first novel with KDP. When I was doing research for self-publishing, I saw a lot of people bragging about their hundreds of books that sold per day and how effective their promotions and countdowns were. I didn’t realize then that most of those people already had an established audience, and had clientele that were already interested in buying their book. Being a first-time author who has never really accomplished much else in life (besides being a part of a wonderful family, that is), I had no idea how invisible I truly was until I tried to self-publish a novel. In some ways, it’s a lot like digging your way out of your own grave.

Truth #1: No one cares.

Okay… maybe not no one. Some of your family and friends will support you, but no one else out in the real world has any idea who you are or why they should pay attention to your work. This does not mean all is lost; it just means that you are going to have to work a thousand times harder to get your name and your novel out there. You have to be really creative with your marketing and the description/cover artwork for your novel, or you’re going to get lost in the shuffle. That’s just how it is.

Truth #2: Self-pub isn’t free.

As soon as you start putting a self-pub novel out there, you are going to have a lot of offers for help with marketing. The thing is, most of those marketing services cost a minimum of $10/month. If you expect to make money off a self-pub novel, you have to have money first (which, unfortunately, I do not) or have an established clientele/audience already.

Truth #3: It’s a lot of stress.

That whole nail-biting thing I mentioned in a previous post has not let up ever since I submitted my novel to KDP. My stomach is still in knots as I type this. I’m constantly checking Amazon to see if I’ve sold any copies or if I’ve got any new reviews. It will steal your life and your sanity, so just be prepared for that.

Truth #4: Self-pub is liberating.

Not only can you make sure your novel or book keeps all the important parts and stays the way you want it, you can also upload new versions if something does have to be changed. Made a mistake while editing? Just upload a new version. Need to fix a scene or inconsistency? Upload a new version. Need to change the ending so it will match your next installment? Apologize, and upload a new version. It’s quite nice, actually.

Truth #5: Self-pub can work.

In all honesty, the fourth truth about self-pub can make all the other ones worth it. I love having control of my work and being able to have full say over what stays and goes. That doesn’t mean I’ll never consider traditional publishing again, even for this novel, but it does mean I’m not giving up hope just yet. So far, I’ve got two great reviews and a decent amount of downloads and buys, so we’ll see where this book can go with self-pub. If I strike it rich with the lottery or something, I’ll hire some people who can help me with marketing and make it really big.

All in all, self-publishing is a challenging, risky business and if you like letting other people handle things for you, it is not for you. However, if you like having control over your own work and not having to wait on rejection letters and denied manuscripts, self-pub might be for you.

Here’s the link to my self-published, ages 16+ YA novel, Diary of a Rocker’s Kid, in case you’re interested: D.O.R.K. on Kindle

Hope you all have a great day or evening!


Still Free and Updated

Diary of a Rocker’s Kid (otherwise known as DORK) is still free on Kindle! Download and share, please! Also, just be aware that some updates were uploaded this morning, and for anyone who purchased it before 7/16, there is an alternate ending in the book now (so sorry… the previous ending just wasn’t working with the second book). Comment below if you need an updated Chapter 12.

Here’s the link: D.O.R.K. on Kindle