I am still trying to get this darn fantasy novel off the ground, but I realized something just recently–all along, the story I’ve been needing to write has been locked away safely in my mind, crying to get out, but I wouldn’t let it. Why, you ask?
Because it’s my story.
My life has been riddled with obstacles that many people in the US and all over the world face today. My parents separated when I was 12 and got divorced a few years later. I have an autistic brother, whom I love very dearly, but the rest of the world doesn’t understand him. My grandfather, the beloved patriarch of my mother’s side of the family, died of cancer when I was 14. I’ve been overweight my entire life and am still struggling against obesity and all the junk food/drink we are bombarded with in today’s world. Because of my obesity and general social awkwardness, I was bullied as a child. On top of it all, I was part of a religion that was not able to provide me with help and real answers to my problems, but instead pushed me around even more and used my deepest, darkest fears to manipulate me… even telling me that psychiatrists/psychologists were “of the devil” so I would only use the counseling they provided. All of those things and more have left me with deep psychological issues I’m going to have to deal with for the rest of my life.
It is my dream to help the people around me overcome the same obstacles that I have overcome in the past and will overcome in the future, particularly children and teenagers. My generation and the generation after me have such a complex world to take care of when we “grow up” and our parents are in the nursing home. So much damage has been done by ignorance and downright wickedness in this world. If I can bring a little understanding and wisdom to my generation through the lessons I’ve learned, why am I selfishly keeping my knowledge hidden away?
Because it hurts. It is excruciatingly painful to dig into your past and pull out the hurts you’ve tried so hard to forget–bullying, abandonment, betrayal, loss–the list is mountainous… but someone needs to tell this generation that it is not okay.
It’s not okay to make fun of people because their problems are different from yours or you don’t understand them. It’s not okay to publicly humiliate people or abuse them because it makes you look bigger. It’s not alright to get so caught up in your own desires that your spouse and your children become your last priority. Children need fathers. People need friends. Special needs children and adults need to be understood and they need a voice. My story speaks to nearly everyone, and it would be selfish of me not to write it.
Stay tuned for more news on my newest project, “The Story I’m Afraid to Write.”
(Disclaimer: I will be changing the names and some details to protect the identities of the actual people in the story.)