The past few years for me have been all about finding myself. I wanted so badly just to know who I was. I tried everything I could think of and nothing made me 100% happy for a while. I would enjoy things, and then I’d find a flaw and abandon them.
The three things I never stopped loving were writing, photography, and music. Sometimes I still struggle with making a choice between the three. I started writing both prose and music at age 14 and loved it. That was one of the happiest times of my life. Unfortunately, I was convinced by some influential people in my life that the kind of music I wanted to share was “sinful,” so I abandoned it for a while and just focused on writing books and poetry. I still wrote music, and I still had fun, but I feel like I missed out by not pursuing what I really wanted.
Well, now I have come full circle. Seven years later I am finally beginning my journey again towards total and complete happiness. I realized I don’t have to let go of ANY of the things I love. If I have three talents/passions, I should develop all three, not just one! It might be a long, hard struggle, but I’m not giving up. I am not here for nothing and there’s nothing sinful about expressing yourself through the beauty of the arts. If I make money doing it, fantastic! But that’s not the point of life, is it?
Yes, I do want a career. But I love this quote by John Lennon–
“When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy’. They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life.”