SPEAK–A poem

This poem is my statement against cult-like religious oppression. Speak out, victims of silence, and experience the truth of God’s mercy washing over you.


by N. Lingarow

Should I speak?


Their bows are poised to shoot.

Their arrows are lit with flame.

Silence is my savior.

Should I act?


Their nets are set for capture.

Their pits are dug for entrapment.

I must remain in place.

My only freedom is in my mind,

But even my brain is sick with their poison.

Should I think?


But the fog is setting in.

The clouds are walls around me.

Are they right? Am I wrong?

Should I breathe?

I must, or I shall die.

Should I think?

I must, or I cannot see.

Should I act?

I must, or I shall be a prisoner forever.

Should I speak?

I must, or the fire in my soul will consume me.

How Ardith Met Galen

I’m feeling very generous with the sneak peeks this week. I love this little story, because it is so profoundly prophetic when included with the big picture of my novel. Galen and Ardith meet in a sweet way and just “happen” to discuss exactly what they will need to know 4 years later. Coincidence? Maybe. Destiny? Definitely.

By the way, “Etheria” is a name that I may be changing soon. It’s a little too popular for my tastes….

Here’s snippet #2 for the week– (the part in italics indicates a past event)


I was teased in school from the very beginning of my time in Velaria by some of the children who thought they were in a higher class of society than me. They called me “twig” and “poor girl” and often said they would not even roast me for meat in a famine because I had so little on me. Their words hurt, and just reminded me of how far I was from my once-happy home in Etheria. Finally one day I ended up sobbing in the corner of the schoolyard, friendless and alone.

It was then that Galen, one of the oldest students in the school, came and sat by my side and handed me a nectarine, which was a symbol of friendship in Velaria. His eyes were kind and compassionate.

“I’m Galen,” he volunteered. “What is your name again?”

“Ardith,” I hiccupped, my sobs fading a bit.

“I’m sorry for the trouble you’re facing from the other students. They will hurt anyone if it helps build up their own selves.”

I hiccupped again, and nodded. “Thank you.”

“Where did you move from?” he asked.

“I am from Etheria,” I replied.

“Ah,” he said. “So you’re a fairy?”

I smiled slightly. “A fairy child. I will be a real fairy someday, when I get my wings.”

He nodded in understanding. “I’ve heard that fairies use their magic to help people, is that true?”

“Yes, most of the time. Some have turned evil, but most of us would help anyone in a time of crisis,” I said. “My mother is Fairy Pleasantbearing. A lot of people in town come to her when they need something.”

“Well now I know where to go if I’m ever in a bind,” he joked. He looked into my eyes and said, “I’d like to be your friend. I like you, Ardith Pleasantbearing.” I smiled, feeling a blush sweep over my cheeks, and nodded in reply.

Just then, the teacher emerged from the schoolhouse and rang the bell, which meant class was starting again. Galen’s sweetheart, Helen, came up to us and said, “Come, Galen.” I could tell she was a bit suspicious of my blush but was too kind to confront me about it.

“Thanks again,” I said to Galen, and he nodded in response. I watched him as he stood and walked inside the schoolhouse with his girl. He reminded me of Julius somehow, and just talking to him for those few moments had lifted my spirits.

I always said hello to Galen in town if I saw him, and he was always just as kind as he had been the first day we met. After Helen realized I was no threat to her, she was equally sweet and I was very happy for them when they got married and when I heard they were expecting a baby. Our friendship had never gone very deep, though, so I had not even thought of him when I was trying to think of someone who could help me with Julius’ plan.

But then, the very morning after I had returned from Julius’ home, Galen came to our cottage with his baby and I overheard him and my mother talking about his wife…. Or more accurately, how she had been stolen from him. I was angry at the king, sad for him, but happy that he had come to us. I knew then that I had found the one we needed.


And there you have it 🙂 Hope you enjoyed this sneak peek! Comment/like/rate, please!


Speaking Fit-ly

The change in my body since 2 weeks ago is truly amazing. I am now almost back to my former level of fitness. I breezed through the workout today and was even jogging when everybody else was walking. “Youth is wasted on the young” does not apply to me. I’m transforming my life right now while I can still reap the full benefits.

I got weighed in today; they said I lost a pound, 1/2 an inch around my waist, and an inch around my hips. Not bad, but the best result I’ve had so far is DEFINITELY the return of my physical abilities. I would rather be able to run a mile than wear a size 6. (granted, wearing a size 6 would be nice, but…)

Once I get my diet under control, I’m hoping those numbers will go down a bit more quickly. I must say, I have…

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It’s Love!

Velaria is up to 6,000 words as of right now (YAY!!) and I’m having fun developing the early stages of the love story between Julius and Ardith. It goes something like the song “What Makes You Beautiful” by One Direction, except without the 21st century pop culture vibe.

Ardith thinks she’s plain and ordinary. Julius sees what everybody else sees: that she’s lovely and doesn’t know it. It takes each of them a long time to realize the other loves them. Take this snippet for example–

“Thanks,” I said with a twinge of nervousness, twirling my hair around my finger as I often did when I was anxious.

Julius’ look changed from compassionate to tender, and my breath caught in my throat. “Your hair is lovely,” he whispered, quite unexpectedly. And instantly I could tell he had not meant for me to hear that. “Uh… I…” He sounded out of breath and embarrassed, so I came to his rescue by treating it as a general compliment.

“Why thank you, sir,” I said jokingly, and both of us laughed a little in relief. My heart was leaping for joy that he had noticed me in such a way, and then…

“I didn’t mean that the way it sounded,” he asserted through his laughter, quickly bringing my soaring heart down to earth with a sickening thud.

“I—I know, no harm done,” I chuckled, thankful that I had treated it like a platonic compliment. After all, what had I been thinking? Someone like him could never love someone as plain and uninteresting as me. I had been a fool, but luckily not so big a fool that I had openly treated my fantasies as realities.

The problem is, as you will see throughout the story, Ardith knows how to pretend she isn’t interested when she is. The reason Julius covered up his compliment is because it looked like she did not care for him in the least. It’s going to be a classic “HURRY UP AND GET TOGETHER ALREADY” kind of story with those two, and it’s going to be positively adorable.

If this all sounds the least bit prideful, let me say this: I can brag on this story all I want and feel zero guilt. Why? Because, as I always say, the story is writing itself. I’m just the tool.

Hope you enjoyed this little sneak peek and have a great Thursday evening 🙂


Speaking Fit-ly

I did not want to go work out this morning. My ears have been in a lot of pain lately and I just wanted to stay home and rest, but I went because people were expecting me. Plus I’m paying for these workouts, so I should use them, right?

It was so worth it. I’ve found that I work out better on an empty stomach (please don’t shoot me… I know it’s bad for me to say this, but some people do work out better on an empty stomach). When I don’t have food sloshing around in my tummy, I can focus a lot better on the task at hand.

I’m halfway considering moving up to the advanced level workout time slot. HALFWAY CONSIDERING. I’m waiting until I have 3 straight workouts like today, where I didn’t feel like I was dying and was even doing pretty well compared to…

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Today I totally forgot to eat lunch because I was concentrating so hard on getting to 5,000 words on Velaria the novel. At least, I think I didn’t eat lunch. I’m really not sure.

But I did get up to 5,000 words. And this novel is going to kill me if I keep going at this pace. Maybe I should chill a little bit.

It’s going really well, in fact I can’t wait to share some of it here. I purposely showed it to Scribblers Central, my group of writer friends, first so they could critique it and help me make it post-worthy. The story is changing as I go, always into something better than I had previously anticipated, and that is partially because of the advice and support of my friends. Love them!

One thing I’ve learned recently is that I have to start anticipating what the readers are going to be thinking about during every incident I put in my story. If I raise a question, I have to answer it. If I cause confusion, I have to resolve it. I have to know everything and I have to explain everything to the readers, or they will be lost, and so will my message. Reading, re-reading, and re-re-reading my work as if I were a new reader is crucial.

Hope you all are having a fantastic week! Take care!


Speaking Fit-ly

I got my butt kicked today. Like, severely. Like, I was about to SCREAM, severely.

It didn’t help that I was tired and lethargic to begin with. I had eaten horribly on Sunday and let me tell you, it came back to bite me today. My energy was at level zero and I ended up almost puking up my breakfast (I know, lovely information right?).

We did pretty much the same exercises we always do today, so I’ll jump right into my fitness tips–

1. Pick your splurges wisely. Yesterday I ate practically nothing but junk and called it a “splurge.” What it really was was giving my body the finger (sorry if anyone’s offended by that, but there’s no other way to describe it). Splurges are cheat MEALS, not cheat DAYS, especially the day before a workout.

2. Don’t be afraid to sweat. I have a distaste for sweat…

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With the unfortunate death of my laptop screen this past week, it became more and more difficult to continue Script Frenzy. Eventually I kind of gave up the ghost. It’s just not meant to be this year. However, I now have a great story to work with and I think writing it as a novel is my next course of action.

It’s almost official, Velaria is probably going to be the prequel to Siranai (or the first in a series… probably the latter). Nothing is set in stone about either of these two stories as of now, but it’s all kind of coming together.

Velaria still has a very strong political message, but it’s also going to be fun to read and whimsical; a difficult blend, but I think it works. Ardith is going to change from a sweet, innocent, kind fairy to a kick-butt heroine by the end of the book. I will be telling the story from her perspective so the audience can see her total inner transformation. She goes from wanting to do something about her country’s plight to using powers no fairy has ever used before and showing the world that power can be used for good. I’m a little nervous about writing this book, to be honest. It’s moving into some dangerous territory that might be stepping on some people’s toes. But in a strange yet powerful way, I feel like it’s necessary to move forward with this. Who knows what it might morph into?

So unfortunately, I’m pretty much down and out as far as Script Frenzy goes. But I feel like it was divine appointment in a way that I started SF with this idea in the first place. Will keep you posted! 🙂

Happy Thursday!


Fitness update! Writing update coming soon 🙂

Speaking Fit-ly

Sorry I haven’t been posting regularly, my computer screen has been screwing up and it’s been very difficult to blog.

Yesterday was workout number 2 and I can already feel my muscles tightening. They feel hard enough to be strong and sculpted, yet soft enough to be feminine. I’m not exactly sure how Stan did this. I’m convinced he’s super-human.

Seriously, this trainer is THE BEST. He doesn’t yell, he doesn’t cuss us out, but he gets results. He apparently is 7 pounds away from the world record in weight-lifting, yet it’s hard to find a man on the planet half as sweet and understanding. He is the reason I’m still in this program right now. In fact, after this program is over, I’m probably still going to want him to train me on a regular basis. His methods basically consist of circuit training with body-weight exercises and a…

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Still on page 40…

I figured it’s high time I gave a report on Galen of Velaria. I’m typing this from my phone because my computer is being a brat, so forgive the brevity of this post.

I’m on page 40, which is a good accomplishment, but I’m a bit behind schedule as far as Script Frenzy goes. I should probably be on page 45 right now as far as they’re concerned. Still, I’ve made some real progress and gotten farther than I’ve ever gotten before on a screenplay, which is good.

Galen’s wife has already made an appearance. She has broken free from her captivity in the king’s harem and is a fugitive. She heads straight for home…only to find Galen and Winslow missing. So she goes to the town busybody and finds out they “ran away.” She is determined to find them.

Meanwhile, Ardith has taken Winslow to Julius’ house in Etheria (land of the fairies) and is taking care of him so Julius can garden more to feed the 3 of them. Ardith is so tired from her new responsibility that she doesn’t notice Julius is falling for her.

I also wrote a comedy scene related to Galen’s invisibility that I think everyone is going to enjoy. I thought I’d play with that idea a little bit, hehe 😉

Have a lovely weekend!